Even writing the title made me squirm a little bit.

My guess is many of the readership will associate the term suicide with an event or an individual that evoke deep-rooted emotions. If you’re like me, you’re used to seeing people at their worst: in severe pain after day surgery, coughing up one of those pesky ‘lungs’ due to pneumonia, or being hit with a head-spinning diagnosis along the lines of diabetes or cancer. Unfortunately, suicide is a whole other monster to have nightmares about.

At some point in our professional careers, we will face a situation that none of us want to see happen: a person, -not a patient per se- , but a person is exposing their emotional core and saying in some way that they are giving up. If you already have a relationship with this person, the impact is devastating, if you don’t, I almost find it surreal to think that there’s a real threat that your interaction may make the difference between holding on and following through.

Let’s be fair and say we’re waaaay too hard on ourselves.

Although the threat is serious and real, it’s very doubtful that this person woke up that morning and suddenly began plotting. There is almost always a progression, either initiated by a single traumatic event, or perhaps a caustic home environment that has been chipping the layers away for years. I’ve found myself doing lots of listening, and not able to say very much due to my fear of saying ‘the wrong thing’. Is there really a wrong thing to say? I repeat often that I’m concerned and want to help. I try to determine if this episode is fleeting or intermittent. Have there been previous attempts? How much planning has been done? Have preparations been made? Do they know what kind of support they need? I also make sure they know that my expertise is limited and at this stage, having crisis numbers available to call is often the best  way to connect them to experienced professional help.

My solace, regardless of outcome is that I made myself available to this person in their time of need. Working in community, we pride ourselves on being accessible. When this kind of thing happens, everything else takes a back seat. Working with the ‘More Than Meds’ project http://morethanmeds.com , I find that I am much more composed and realistic with my ability to be a positive light in such black pitch. Even a soft candle may be enough to illuminate the way out of the dungeon; whether I am the right one to make them move in that direction is out of my control, but I’m learning to be okay with that.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any agency, employer or affiliation.