Monthly Archives: October 2024

by

The Odyssey, Part 5 – From Dusk till Donegal

So we have finally reached our final destination before working our way back home. Now that we have expended half the fun by getting here, we decided to pause for a couple of nights to take it all in. Tomorrow we have an early appointment at Fallingwater so we wanted to be well-rested and relatively close. This plan allowed us to take our time doing ‘touristy’ things and not worry about road construction or highway traffic jams.

Donegal is a borough within the Donegal Township. Both are named after the County of Donegal, the northernmost county in Ireland and the largest in the province of Ulster. The name Donegal is derived from the Irish Dun na nGall, which translates to ‘fort of the foreigners’, which as I write this, makes more sense now than when we were actually there. You see, Donegal the borough is only 0.3 square miles (sorry….0.78 sq. km) and sits right on an exit off the PA turnpike. It is a tiny swatch of land that has all the amenities a foreigner would need: Hotels, restaurants, convenience stores, and gas bars. The Township completely surrounds the borough but is completely distinct as a municipality. Don’t worry, we were also very confused.

After checking in, we decided to take a run down PA-31 into what we thought was ‘town’ but was actually just a street with businesses interspersed with family homes. There was a legion, a few ski-rental shops, a pie shoppe (not just a shop, but the quaint and boutique-style ‘shoppe’), a physical therapist’s office shingle, an independent pharmacy, a yoga studio, and TWO dollar stores (because they’re everywhere). The Old General Store caught our eyes, so we trundled in to hear a little bell ring above the door to signal our patronage. Right away, this was no ordinary gift shop; the first corner led me to a wire rack with rows and rows of local hot sauce varieties. The names of said sauces are not fit to print unless you have the potty humour of a delinquent 12-year old, so naturally we all took turns reading labels and appropriately laughing our keisters off.

Wandering to the next section, and keeping with the theme, behold the lavatory mists! Many of us have seen these novelty items in stores back home, but as a tip of the cap to some fresh new pun creations, I will share my top 5 from this location:

  • Beethoven’s Symphony No.2
  • Vladimir Pootin
  • Abe Lincoln’s Log
  • Jack the Ripper
  • Fifty Shades of Brown

The next section was kitchen and housewares. We particularly liked the arrangement of kitchen towels. See if you notice the common thread between all the products in the picture below:

By this time, the employees in the store were beginning to worry about us. The giddy fairy had us cornered and triumphantly cast their spell. Now absolutely everywhere we looked, everything we touched or wore was downright hilarious, and we hadn’t yet reached the greeting cards…

Note to self – if a card or napkin makes you cry with laughter, just buy it as an impulse. You just never know when you’ll have the chance to spring such silliness on an unsuspecting victim. In the months since the trip, my fiancée and I are kicking ourselves because some of those passages would have been perfect for special occasions or gifts for family and friends.

Somewhat out of embarrassment, we each bought a small knick-knack before leaving. Rest assured, the cashier had guessed that we were definitely ‘from away’, but seemed to enjoy the entertainment nonetheless. Across the street, we found another interesting store to visit, replete with driftwood and antlers:

I don’t have a cabin myself, but walking into this place, you could almost smell the smoke from the fireplace and feel a dry, cozy warmth permeating throughout the living space. The Rustic Lodge has a distinct stone and timber style that caters to folks that love spending time in the outdoors. Similar to the hotel décor in the last post, taxidermy is pervasive and almost every piece of furniture: night stand, mantel-piece, chandelier, and wine rack was unique. Need a lighting fixture made of antlers? A bed made of polished logs? A full-size barrel with ‘Jack Daniel’s’ emblazoned on the front? This is the store for you!

Our next stop took us to the corner of PA-31 and PA-711, which would be the route to Fallingwater the next morning. We discovered Sarnelli’s Market, A standalone building that housed an Italian market on the main level, but the parking lot wound down around the back to find a cold beer store, a separate unit with local wines, and a third for local spirits. After splurging on a can of Arnold Palmer’s Spiked Half & Half (iced tea, lemonade, and weirdly, the alcohol was unspecified on the label), we popped in to sample some wines. The lady serving us was quite jovial and informative, pointing out the most popular grape varieties for the region. She asked if we were interested in trying some spirits, and led us out, locking the door behind us and proceeded to unlock the next unit to the right. Ridge Runner Distillery, from nearby Chalkhill to the south, featured an array of moonshines and young-tasting rums. Some of the lineup had potential with a bit more aging, but most tasted like flavored rubbing alcohol.

We were beginning to get a wee bit famished. Thankfully every drive we made so far was only a few minutes in either direction so we had a few choices that were very close. Pulling off the highway earlier, we had noticed a very prominent road sign and decided to get a closer look. I’ll leave this here:

Talk about owning it! For some reason, I had always thought the term ‘hillbilly’ was more on the derogatory side, used to poke fun with the Beverly Hillbillies being an example. As it turns out, the term actually originated in Appalachia. Although there is debate regarding the origin of the term, I’ll share the one I find the most interesting and fun.

The Appalachian Mountains were settled in the 18th century by the English, the Scottish lowlands and northern Ireland. Many were followers of the protestant king William III (William of Orange). In Ireland during the Williamite War, supporters of ‘King Billy’ were known as ‘Billy’s Boys’. Over time, settlers in the rural, mountainous areas of the original 13 British colonies became known as hillbillies. Nowadays, the term is used both with pride, and in other settings, as parody. At HillBilly’s Grub-N-Pub, we sensed a bit of both.

Switching things up a bit, I ordered Mimi’s Meatloaf with a side of gouda mashed potatoes. The menu had a few different cocktails. I honed in on a ‘Stubborn Mule’, a concoction featuring a locally distilled cherry vodka and ginger beer. During the course of the meal, a news report popped on the telly behind our table. There was a piece on a recent republican campaign event, and the spin was not too kind to the former American president. As non-Americans, we certainly don’t have a right to judge political views, but we watch the news like everyone else. In most cases, we don’t hold a glowing view of Donald Trump, and this particular dinner conversation swayed into that territory. Almost immediately, the spidey senses began to tingle. There weren’t too many full tables in our vicinity, but some ears started to perk up when his name was mentioned. We were in a very purple state, with much at stake in the upcoming November election. Needless to say, we clammed up before dessert was served, making an educated guess that given the day’s events, we may have arrived in a part of the state that leans right rather heavily.

Nestled back in our rooms, we tried to get an early night after fighting with the apps on the smartTV. Tomorrow was going to be epic.

Join us next time where in part 6, we will have a brief Fallingwater walkthrough followed by a cruise through the illustrious locations of Mill Run, Ohiopyle, Acme and Mount Pleasant!

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any agency, employer or affiliation.

by

The Odyssey, Part 4 – Dorneyville Horrors

And we’re living here in Allentown
But the restlessness was handed down
And it’s getting very hard to stay

From the iconic song written and performed by Billy Joel, this passage refers to the decline of the manufacturing sector during the 1980’s. Bethlehem Steel, the second largest steel manufacturer in the US for most of the 20th century, was falling on hard times and the future was uncertain. The mill eventually shut down for good in 1995. Although the lyrics strike a negative tone, it still spoke to the resilience of Allentown; unemployed steel-workers toughing it out and refusing to quit making a life there.

We were only there for an evening, but we were also restless to reach out final destination. It was also getting hard to stay due to the incessant screaming.

Say that again?

Yes, from the moment we arrived at our Holiday Inn parking lot, we could hear periodic screams and shrieks from across the road. Little did I realize when booking these accommodations, that we wouldn’t be in a sleepy part of town off the interstate, but rather on the border of one of the largest theme parks we have ever seen: 200 acres of Dorney Park and Wildwater Kingdom. Opened in 1884, this place is a monster, and the screaming was coming from one of the 8 roller coasters in the park. In fact, when it opened in May 2001, it was touted as the largest inverted roller coaster in the northeastern United States. One where you stand and are suspended below the rails, this thrill-ride will take you 14 storeys into to air, invert you 4 separate times and reach speeds of 58 mph (ahem…93 km/h). For those you want the thrill of a lifetime, or simply enjoy vomiting their oversized park-bought hotdogs, the Talon: Grip of Fear will not disappoint!

Just to get an idea of where we were situated, the image below from google maps shows our hotel in the lower right in the red circle. The place where they skin the cats is ringed in yellow. Did I mention this place is LARGE?!

At any rate, we discovered that our rooms were not yet ready so we asked for a recommendation for lunch. Seeing how we wound up in tourist-central, I reckon the hotel hosts receive this question almost as much as requests for extra towels. Without missing a beat, he directed us a few short minutes up the road to Carrabba’s Italian Grill. This is a restaurant chain we were not familiar. I can’t recall much other than thinking that it was our second day in a row having Italian, so I opted for a dish called the Pollo Rosa Maria, a chicken breast stuffed with Fontina cheese and prosciutto. The menu picture was amazing. The taste? It would rank it slightly above average, (3 out of 5 sundried tomatoes) with good preparation, appealing presentation but more bland than expected.

Before heading back at the hotel, I decided to refresh my ibuprofen stocks, so we found a pharmacy in a Weis Market that was two buildings away. With my keen sense of navigation, I managed to turn the commute into an unintentional 15 minute tour of Cedar Creek Park. Since I’m having entirely too much fun doodling on Google maps, here’s another image for reference:

Here’s the thing: Hamilton Blvd is a strange drive for non-locals. It is a main thoroughfare, and is a standard two-lane highway with a concrete divider. When we exited our hotel, we could only turn right and would have to switchback by Dorneyville Dental on the bottom left. From that point, Hamilton splits into two one-way stretches that envelop 5 or 6 city blocks. For my pharmacist readers, it’s like a nodule formed in the middle of the highway and separated the two sides of the street to the point you could fit a small community inside. After confidently turning left past the Wendy’s, we drove past the top of your screen before everything looked completely wrong and we started looking for the way back around.

Ibuprofen in hand we trekked back to the hotel for a bit of downtime. My headache abated over the next hour and we were off again, this time to explore a local winery or brewery for a late afternoon flight before dinner. Firing up the nav system in Dad’s Genesis, we found Vynecrest Winery in nearby Brenigsville, about 15 minutes away.

We arrived at approximately 5:07pm. I remember thinking the parking lot was rather empty this time of day. The flag outside read open to we headed into the shop. After a few beats a woman appeared to say that they closed at 5 and had not removed the open sign from outside and neglected to lock the door.

“You can try Clover Hill up the road. They close at 5:30pm”

Off we go, arriving at Clover Hill at 5:17pm.

“I’m sorry. We’ve already had last call and are no longer offering tastings. Feel free to peruse the shop.”

We were getting restless and annoyed. The next option was Rising River Brewing, located in the borough of Macungie, which took us through Trexlertown and East Texas (yes, it is a suburb of Allentown). A couple quick things:

  1. Macungie is derived from “Maguntsche”, a Lenape word, meaning either “bear swamp” or “feeding place of the bears”. Sounds like a lovely place to settle and raise a family.
  2. The community of East Texas is named after the state of course, but the ‘East’ prefix is to distinguish it from another Texas in Pennsylvania. It is also the global headquarters for Day-Timer, the company that brings you all kinds of paper-based calendars and weekly organizers. To wit, I will visit Staples every November to buy my Day-Timer as preparation for the following year.

Rising River is nestled in a residential area. When we arrived, it looked packed. There were two parking lots, a large main building, and a massive deck in the back. It appeared there were lawn games, a foot bridge and gazebo further down on the property. There were lineups to be seated outside. We sauntered into the main building to ask the barkeep if there were restaurant services. She said that wine and mixed drinks were available in the main building, which reminded me of a legion hall, and draught beer on tap was out on the patio. A food truck was conveniently parked alongside the deck serving a massive sprawl of people looking for fish, chips and hotdogs. A bit disappointed but looking to make the most of the situation, we sat close to the tiki bar outside and were ignored by the servers for about a half-hour. We finally approached the bar and were told to get in line on the other side. Folks had drink tickets, so we were confused; did we miss a sign or crash a private event? Then a voice came over the PA system and everything made sense: this was Wednesday night Bingo at the Rising River Brewery and seemingly ALL of Macungie were armed with dabbers and were fueling up prior to the first round.

We managed to order beers from a gentleman who looked entirely overwhelmed, but in good spirits. We took off shortly after a lady came around to display what an ‘X’ looks like on a bingo card, quietly exiting between shouts of “B13”. We headed back the hotel with a bottle of blackberry brandy to munch on leftover cheese and crackers from our grocery trip a couple days earlier and to fight with apps on the smartTV.

Below left: Vynecrest Winery shop before they told us they were closed. Bottom right: Rising River, featuring everything you need to get through a weeknight in Macungie 🙂

We arose on Thursday morning, Aug 15. Another fine weather day for our drive west through the state. After a quick bagel, we proceeded to turn right so we could turn left. Stupid Hamilton Blvd.

Allentown (PA) –> Donegal (PA)

Since I have largely ignored my own advice on straying off on unnecessary tangents, the route summary will be brief, as it was largely a straight line for about three-and-a-half hours through the Appalachian Mountains.

  • Leave hotel, jump on the I-78 due west at Wescoville.
  • Merge into the I-81 near West Jonestown.
  • Cross the Susquehanna River at Harrisburg.
  • At Middlesex, merge onto I-76, the Pennsylvania Turnpike.
  • Drive through a series of Appalachian mountains. These tunnels are two lanes each way and span 2-3km. If you have semi-trailer trucks around you, it certainly adds to the claustrophobia:
    • Kittatinny Mountain Tunnel (fun fact: the western portal is featured on the first postcard during the opening sequence of National Lampoon’s Vacation)
    • Tuscarora Mountain Tunnel
    • Allegheny Mountain Tunnel
  • Continue straight to Donegal, a borough in Westmoreland County roughly 80 clicks southeast from downtown Pittsburgh.

Reaching our destination at the customary mid-afternoon tick of the clock, we were greeted in the hotel lobby by some furry friends:

I do not come from a family of hunters. The only taxidermy I tend to see are in museum exhibits. The rustic log cabin feel of this place was rather fascinating. Not wanting to wade into Pennsylvania politics, I was getting the feeling that 2nd amendment rights are a hot-button issue in this part of the state, but more on that later.

Join us next time, when in Part 5 we spend the first of our two days touring the Donegal township and surrounding areas, shopping in the general store, sampling some local spirits and preparing ourselves for Friday’s visit to Fallingwater!

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any agency, employer or affiliation.